Inspiration and Realization

All of you who may know me must know I have had a fairly finicky heart. I am either never fully pleased and just can not make up my mind(*I can't get no- satisfaction*). I guess this is both a very bad and good quality. Bad for reasons like I have very large issues with commitment, whether it be relationships, jobs, career paths etc, and therefore am never really working towards a main goal. Good for the fact that because I am never fully satisfied and can not commit because I have experienced many different things, and explored many different options which in the end gives me a stronger knowledge of what I truly want and what could fully satisfy me. Its like cake tasting for your wedding cake, sure all the other options might be good but they just are not right, and by trying all these different kinds of cake you get a better understanding of what you desire. (I am currently craving some cake). The past few months I feel like I have been "finding myself" and really figuring out what I want and what is best for me.

My big passion has been photography, hence the blog. The past while though I have been on the fence about making this my career path. Really the hesitation has come from my fears, photography is such an insanely competitive field with a fairly low success rate...nothing about that sounds to inviting! So I think lately i think I have been trying to think more practically and have bee thinking about going into school for small business management, that way I would have the business skills I would need for being a photographer, as well as these skills I could use as a backup in all sorts of different jobs. I have been living off this idea for the past few months tihnking it is the best bet for me to be successful in the future. But really is that what I want, is my only goal to be successful. No. I want to do what I am passionate about! When have I eever been someone who lives by practicality...never lol and I dont think I am going to start now. So I started my day by going on Kijiji(such an odd word to type out I can never figure out if I have the right number of i's or j's) on the photography and video services ads and looking for models who are looking to colaborate. I came to a post which ended up leading me to a couple of blogs of current students who are in a photography program ( I added these 2 blogs today, so if one of you are reading this thank you for the start of my day of inspiration and realization) I looked through their blogs and just noticed such a huge improvement in their work over such a little amount of time and really loved a lot of the more recent photos that I saw. That's when I really got hit again with "this is what I want to do and this is what I need to do to do it" so I am back on going to school to study photography.

Well with this realization and goal back in place, I thought well maybe I should get a better idea of what kind of photography I really am passionate about and would really love doing. This kind of came easier to me. I spend a lot of my time on buzznet-which is like a picture, video, blogging site- and I follow models to check out their photos. I freaking love fashion/editorial photography love love love it. I'm currently having a word block because I cant even think of the right words to describe what it is for me. Its just pure beauty, and love and creativity. It just seems like the perfect way for me to express myself and create something to amazing, a way to tell a story and entrance someone. My mind is going into a frenzy just thinking about it. So I was doing a bit of searching online for fashion photographers and such, and came across the greatest site ever.

http://www.fashionphotographyblog.com

Melissa Rodwell is an amazing photographer, and has created a site I have only dreamed about doing. Sharing personal work and teaching through her work. She also accepts other photographers works and posts them on her site to give artists the recognition they deserve. This women I believe has created something so amazing for fashion photographers, she has definitely given me inspiration to keep true to my passion and work to get to where I want to be.

Seeing as this is a photo blog I feel it is only right I have atleast one photo in each blog. Unfortunately I have never shot anything really fashion or editorial before I leave you with a self portrait I did a year ago. Voila. I hope you all can find some inspiration and guidance in your life if you are looking for it.